Skunk Cake

 

 

Copyright © 2015 Lisa Honeycutt

707 words

 

SKUNK CAKE

By Lisa Honeycutt

 

Maple’s tree hollow was lonely and quiet.

But what Maple wanted more than anything was for her tree to be full of happy animals enjoying her food. You see, she loved to cook and dreamed of being a chef.

So one day she cleaned up her little tree hollow, put out tables and chairs and found her best tablecloths. She arranged flowers from her garden and then set out for the local super-dumpster to shop.

What delicious treats she found! Hard cinnamon rolls…yogurt with something green on top…blackened cabbage cores…a carton of cracked eggs…smushy squash…slimy lettuce and more!

When Maple got back to the café, she looked at the front of her tree and thought something was missing, so she painted a sign: Funky Skunk Café.

“Now! To get cooking! What should I make with all of these yummy ingredients? I know! I’ll make cakes to celebrate!”

Original recipes by Maple Skunk:

Spiced Bread Pudding Surprise

3 cups chopped hard cinnamon rolls
2 cups sour milk
3 cracked eggs
1 cup wrinkled carrot peels
1 cup leftover mashed potatoes

Whip eggs and milk, pour over rolls. Fold in carrot peels and mashed potatoes. Spread in pan and bake for one hour with a bowl of hot water to keep it spongy.

“This cake needs something chewy and sweet…I know just the thing!” While the cake was baking, Maple dug in her garden and found twenty plump juicy grubs to sprinkle on top.

Upside Down Cake

2 cups lumpy oatmeal
1/2 cup smushy squash
1 cup slimy lettuce
1/2 cup diced cabbage cores
1/4 cup chopped orange rinds
2 large cracked eggs
1 cup yogurt with green stuff on top

Smush all the above ingredients together in large bowl.

1/4 cup sunflower seeds
1/2 cup dandelion flowers

Place seeds and flowers in bottom of the pan and top with oatmeal mixture. Bake for one hour.
Garnish with blackberries, leaves and branches.

Four Layer Mystery Cake

2 cups chopped green bologna
2 cups dry hamburger
2 cups ground up half-eaten chicken nuggets
2 cups very rare steak covered in flies
4 cracked eggs
2 cups crusty honey
1/2 cup bacon grease

Mix each meat with ½ cup crusty honey and 2 tablespoons bacon grease. Form each into a circular cake shape and stack them into layers. Whip smelly egg whites into peaks and top cake.

“What delicious looking cakes! Animals will love them! I’m finally going to be a chef!”

Maple hung out a banner, then waited.

She tried to stay busy. She wrote out the menu and organized the plates. She brewed blackberry leaf tea with crusty honey. She waited and waited and waited.

“It’s hopeless! I’ll never be a chef!”

“Excuse me, I’d like to eat at the café?”

“Ah…what?” said Maple. “Oh! Of course! Please take a seat!”

“I think I’ll try the Upside Down Cake,” said the vulture. “I like my food when it’s laying upside down.”

“Right away!”

But just then a goat came in, followed by a badger.

“Please come in! Be seated! I will be right with you!”

The goat ordered Spiced Bread Pudding Surprise. “I love surprises!”

And the badger ordered the Four Layer Mystery Cake. “Nothing beats a good mystery!”

Maple smiled nervously as she returned with beautiful plates of cake.

“This smells disgusting!”

“Ughhhh…revolting!”

“Are those BUGS?!! Is that MOVING?!!!”

“Oh! I’m so sorry! I really tried my best! Perhaps you would like something else?” Maple snatched up the vulture’s cake and began to hurry to the kitchen when she tripped over her tail and cake went flying! Upside Down Cake was now right-side up…on the goat’s lap!

Maple threw her chef's hat on the floor. “I’ll never be a chef! I can’t do it! You all think my food is disgusting!”

“You know, these flowers look yummy. And do I smell orange rinds?” asked the goat.

“Say, are you going to eat that?” the vulture asked the badger. “It smells pretty good.”

“You can have it!” replied the badger. “Um…pardon me, goat? That looks delicious…may I? Mmmm, mmmm, that is tasty!”

Maple was shocked! Maybe she was a good chef after all!

Just then a family of rats came through the door. “Ah! The smell is divine! We’ll take a slice of everything!”

 

 

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All images © 2019 by Lisa Honeycutt. All rights reserved.